


this serenity in idleness

by spills



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, body horror on suga's part??, cursed angel au, it's romantic (i think), like literally cursed, they are angels and they ran away from heaven together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25050499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spills/pseuds/spills
Summary: It’s unfair really, how the two of them were among Heaven’s most radiant, only to fall from grace, and now be given these… inhumane forms.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54
Collections: One-Shot Goldmine





	this serenity in idleness

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by this art!!  
> https://twitter.com/grimteas/status/1278624315731132419?s=20
> 
> god it is so beautiful and made me feel things, i've been thinking about it for last 24 hours non-stop

“Do you regret loving me?” 

The words leave his throat bitterly, while the other angel has given him his time, debatedly, for all eternity. His thighs underneath his head, lap serving as a pillow, and Koushi only hums in response, running his fingers through Tooru’s chestnut hair. 

It’s unfair really, how the two of them were among Heaven’s most radiant, only to fall from grace, and now be given these… inhumane forms. 

Tooru supposes that their punishment could have been worse, after all, Heaven was where all the good souls ended up. He’s thinking that at least, the two of them are together, but sometimes, like now, he can’t help but wonder if it was worth it. Worth being hunted by not only demons that were keen on seducing them to Hell - whispering promises of how they’ll feel so much lighter once their wings are burnt off from their back, that no one would blame them if they did. It was their big and generous God that abandoned them after all, unconditional love that turned out conditional in the end. 

It’s only unconditional, if one believed that their Lord was good, and perfect - instead of the tyrant that he turned out to be. Regarding love and forgiveness, he was always supposed to come first, come high water or hellfire. Thinking about it now, Tooru remembers Adam and Eve and the snake, and Tooru wonders if they regret the freedom they found outside of Eden.

Somedays, Tooru only finds himself regretting this decision of theirs because, maybe, he never expected  _ knowing _ to be this painful. Human life was supposed to be a precious thing, because of how limited it was, and he supposes that was what he had craved, the idea of an ending, deemed by one’s own choices. Free will acted upon well required knowledge though, and all previous blind faith in his Lord had to be discarded.

Loving Koushi was an act of free will. He remembers watching the other hang off the edge of Heaven, teaching the younger angels how to fly, helping them preen their wings. Back then Tooru had compared the other angel to himself, finding Koushi's appeared to be a little dull, wondering what was it that made other's flock to him like sheep, how the younger angels would vie for his attention, ask him to take care of their wings.

Sure his wings were white and fluffy, but they were just white and fluffy. Anyone could have white and fluffy wings. 

Tooru’s own set of wings had feathers of gold, signifying his own high rank at the time. These days, his wings are still gold, and his body bleeds gold as well. The wounds he had endured linger on his skin till now, to serve as an eternal reminder of the place he had left, the postion that he had abandoned for the sake of his own desires. In his previous life, he used to smell like earth at sunrise. These days, he knows a metallic scent clings to him, follows after him, no matter how many rivers or springs he bathes in. 

Still, there are worse curses, and when Koushi finally gives him an answer, he meets the other angel eye to eye. This time the eye he meets is the one center of his palm. 

“I’m not repentant if that’s what you’re asking,” Koushi laughs sweetly, and the eyes all along his skin crinkle into tiny crescents. His eyes used to be brown, they used to shine gold under the sunlight, and how his silver hair used to appear gold too. Tooru thinks about interest piqued, purposely getting himself all ruffled up just for a reason to pester the other. The desire for his attention was how this whole mess started in the first place. 

The morphing of their physical forms wasn’t immediate. The first change that Tooru noticed on Koushi were his irises no longer the brown he used to love, blood red instead. The next change was waking up one morning, and an eye had grown on the back of Koushi’s neck. The next day led to an eye on one of his wings, all their irises blood red, as if a human being was dissected into two. Tooru had his own wounds, the ones he suffered from the cut of a heavenly sword that drew a thin line along his neck. He remembers the flames that licked up his skin, burns along his waist, yet at the time all he could think about was keeping Koushi’s hand tight in his own as they ran across the marbled floors of heaven. 

An angel that bleeds gold and burns. An angel with too many blood-red eyes marred across their skin and wings. 

Tooru wonders if this was their god’s way of saying “If you want to be together so much, then be together in suffering.”

Is this suffering? Tooru feels like that he should be suffering, but instead all he can think about is how beautiful the sound of Koushi’s voice is. He considers happiness, and what does satisfaction even mean in the first place. 

“Don’t you miss Heaven?” Tooru finds himself fiddling with Koushi’s fingers, thinking about the gentleness they hold. After allowing Koushi to help him fix his wings, Tooru immediately understood why all of the other angels seemed to prefer having Koushi pluck out stray feathers, because you didn’t feel them being removed. A process that required care for it to be painless, and the only sensation Tooru remembers was how idle he was, the way time had passed in comfortable silence. 

All of Koushi’s eyes blink slowly at him, in consideration before he offers an answer. “I miss teaching my juniors. Kageyama was a great flier,” at the mention of the other angel, Tooru can’t help but have his mouth downturn into a little pout. Koushi gives his forehead a little flick with a cheeky smile, to which Tooru squawks indignantly, “Don’t give me that look. Kageyama never hurt you, stop being petty, Tooru.”

Tooru sticks out his tongue, “Yes he has. He ends up taking your attention away from me whenever he asked you for  _ flying lessons _ when he’s already good enough.” 

Koushi and his infinite eyes roll, and while it should be a horrifying sight to behold, Tooru can’t help but find the sight to be slightly amusing. “I liked that Kageyama was always trying to better himself even though he was good. You know who else has that trait that I like oh-so-much?” 

“Who?” Tooru grins. 

Koushi shakes his head in disbelief, ruined by the small smile that’s gracing his lips “You, of course. I like seeing you work hard.”

“Aw, stop, you’ll make me blush Koushi.” 

“No way, you’re too shameless for that,” Koushi answers with practiced ease and the fondness of a long-time lover that makes Tooru wonder why he was so bitter in the first place.

Placing his hand on Tooru’s throat, he drags his fingers along the cut, staining his fingers a bright, metallic hue dulled by the surrounding shadows of the trees. Tooru winces, still not used to the sensation of having opened wounds so casually touched upon, even if it’s been there for so long already. 

Maybe open wounds aren’t meant for one to get used to in the first place.

Koushi’s gaze is downcast on him, and he whispers, “Are you having second thoughts? Do you want to go back?” 

Tooru gives a little exhale through the nose, and shakes his head fervently. “Absolutely not,” he sings lightheartedly, lets his gaze linger on Koushi’s face when he continues to speak, “Not when I get to have you all to myself.” 

Another helpless huff from the other angel, “That’s a terrible reason for us to abandon previous duties, isn’t it?” 

“And yet we’re here.”

“And yet we’re here.” 

Tooru indulges in holding Koushi’s hand, his fingers getting sticky with his own blood, but he can’t find himself minding the sensation. Not when he knows that the two of them would make this decision again if given the chance to redo the past. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come holla at me on [ tweeter! ](https://twitter.com/rinrintoya)  
> oisuga was actually my first ""rarepair"" otp from years ago, so im just... really soft for them h


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